Last week my doctor switched up my chemo regmine after a not so favorable CT scan. I knew this was coming. It wasn’t a surprise. But it was still an anxiety producing moment. It’s interesting how you can know something is coming, and yet even though you are fully aware in your head, it doesn’t sink in until it is upon you.

I was nervous about this treatment, as it is one step away from the treatment that put me in the hospital for a week. Not a good time. That was the first treatment I had after my diagnosis. So, this treatment, though not exactly the same, touch a soft spot that I had been carrying around.
Stepping into the fog
This time around was a little better, but I wouldn’t say vastly different. The med (for those who are curious) is called 5-FU with Oxaliplatin. It’s an agressive treatment, and one my doctor thought I could handle. Through the nausea, vomiting and fatigue, I guess I have “handled it”, but it’s not been a fun round. The sofa has become my friend, and the radio my companion. Anything to distract me. I’ve also lost about 9 pounds in a week. Not the best way to lose weight I assure you! 🙂

I will go back in next week for another round. The difference next week is a delightful tea party which I WILL be well enough to attend. I might be propped up on anti-nausea meds, but I will be there.

A friend asked me if I had called the doctor and asked about why I was feeling this way, and what I could do about it. What a concept! I was feeling so wretched, that thought honestly hadn’t occurred to me (ok, I’m not so bright). I did go into the infusion center to have my pump removed (which delivers the meds), and had some anti-nausea meds and some fluids. Luckily we developed a plan to get all that under control, which has worked in the days past. Phew!

I think the point of this post is to ask for help when you’re stepping into the unknown. Sometimes you might feel wretched, or not sure that neighbor can help (she could and did happily), it slips your mind, or you’re just plain befuddled on what the next step is. Don’t suffer in silence. Ask for help. Things could get better in a hurry. You just need to ask.